


More Than Anything

by Bulletproofseb



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, F/M, Fluff, Nudity, References to Depression, Sebastian Stan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-03
Updated: 2017-11-03
Packaged: 2019-04-26 15:25:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14404977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bulletproofseb/pseuds/Bulletproofseb
Summary: You have a panic attack and Bucky helps you work through it.





	More Than Anything

 You’ve been laying in your bed for what feels like an eternity, but realistically, it was probably just twenty minutes. Not moving, twitching, barely even breathing. You were hungry, your stomach grumbling, but you ignored it, opting to sulk in your misery.

 You’d been in a good mood for a majority of the day, starting it by waking up next to your boyfriend of 2 years, Bucky, eating breakfast with the team. You went to a debriefing for a mission you went on with Sam and Nat a few days ago, and then the three of you went and joined Steve and Bucky in the training center. Everything had been fine, you went in, gave your boyfriend a quick kiss on the cheek, and went to the opposite side of the room to spar with Nat. You had been there for about an hour when you felt it.

 That’s how it worked. You could be the happiest person in the world one minute, and then crying in the corner the next. Depression hit you like a ton of bricks at the worst moments, and you despised it for that.

 You stood up and announced that you were done for the day, speed walking to your quarters, wanting to get there as soon as possible before you broke down in the middle of the hallway.

 And now here you were. You didn’t expect Bucky to follow you, because you know that he likes hanging out in the gym, training with Steve for most of the day, him claiming that it’s a good way to knock his anger out. So usually, he went as soon as he was finished with breakfast (which you have to force him to eat), comes out for lunch (Which you also force him to do), and then he gets finished at around 4, 5 on some days.

 You finally made the effort to move, the first one you made since you barged into your room only minutes ago, to look at the clock. To your surprise, it was already 4:00, I guess you had been laying down for more than twenty minutes. You were expecting Bucky to open the door any minute now, him assuming that you’d already taken a shower since you left the gym a little bit ago.

 And, you guessed correctly, because not ten seconds after you thought that, Bucky busted through the door laughing, almost like a hurricane.

“Doll, you’ll never believe what I just did to Sa- hey, wait,” he said, stopping in his tracks, “have you been crying?”

 You didn’t know how to respond, but your emotions did apparently, and you started breaking down, sobbing again. He rushed to the side of the bed, sitting down next to you before pulling you up and wrapping you in his arms.

 He’d seen you like this a million times before, always trying his hardest to comfort you, even before you started going out he did it. So, he knew exactly what you needed, so he grabbed you tight, opting not to say anything, letting his actions speak for him.

Your hands were wrapped around his neck, holding on to him as if he’ll disappear if you let go. He just took his flesh hand and started rubbing your scalp through your hair, waiting patiently for you to calm down a little bit on your own so you could tell him what you wanted to do. That was a traditional thing you did every time something like this happens. If one freaks out, the other will wait for them to decide what they want them to do to try and make them feel better. Sometimes you’ll ask for a massage, which he’ll gladly do, and he usually opts for just going to the gym and taking it out on the punching bags, and then spending the rest of the night cuddled up to you.

After a few minutes, he heard you’re sobbing starts to die down, so he figures he should ask you now before you’re English is incomprehensible again. He pulls you back to have you at eye level before asking you.

“What do you wanna do, babydoll?” he questioned sincerely, wanting nothing more than for you to be the happy, smiling person you were just a few hours ago. “What can I do to make you feel better?”

 You took a second to gather your thoughts into one place before responding.

“Shower.” You mumbled, hoping he understood you so you didn’t have to waste energy speaking again. You felt like you had a pound of bricks on your chest, preventing you from breathing properly.

 He must have understood you because after untangling your limbs from his body, he picked you up bridal style and carried you to the bathroom. He set you down on the counter walking away for a second to turn on the shower.

“Do you wanna do this by yourself? Or do you need help?” He asked looking at you. You weren’t sure what you wanted, hoping you can do it by yourself, but also knowing that you’ll probably need help, so you didn’t respond.

 He looked down and sighed for a second, and then, almost as if he could read your mind because he asked, “How about you get in by yourself, and attempt it, and if you decide that you can’t, I’ll get in and help you?”

 You decided you liked that idea, so you just nodded and put your hands up. He quickly undressed you, comfortable seeing you undressed knowing this is not a sexual thing. After he takes your top off, he gently pulls you off the counter so you’re standing up and he can take your pants and underwear. When he gives you the go-ahead, you turn somewhat slowly and made your way over to the shower door. He sits down on the toilet, deciding to look down at his phone and try to figure out how to work this ‘Twitter’ thing, not wanting to make you uncomfortable by just staring at you.

 You stepped through the glass door and decided to just stand underneath the stream of hot water, feeling it run through your hair and down your back, turning every couple of seconds so it could fall down your front. Feeling the tight muscles from being thrown down repeatedly by Natasha at training loosen. You finally reach over to grab the shampoo and you already start feeling tears streaming down your face, fading with the water falling down on you.

 And then you can’t breathe. Well, it feels like you can’t breathe but realistically you’re practically hyperventilating, and you barely hear Bucky rushing to get undressed to help you.

 He runs into the shower when your hands are leaning against the wall, needing to have something supporting you or else you know you’ll fall. He quickly grabs you, holding you up since you don’t have the energy to do so.

“It’s okay, baby, just let it out,” he whispers, wanting to comfort you and let you know that it’s okay to show emotion. After what feels like forever of him just holding you, the water hitting your back, he somehow manages to hold you up long enough to wash your hair and body for you, and you let him, knowing the last thing he wanted was to harm or scare you.

 After he finished he quickly washed his hair, having just come back from a heavy workout, with you practically having to tie yourself to his waist.

 Nothing was said as he shut off the water and grabbed two towels from under the sink, turning and wrapping you up in one first, him following by putting one on his waist. He picked you up again, carrying you and setting you down on the bed. He pulled on some boxers and grabbed you some underwear and one of his shirts that practically swallowed you whole.

 After dressing, you lay down in bed completely ready to pass out and have your dreams engulf you and to forget everything. Bucky turned on an episode of 'Friends’ before exiting the room, leaving you all alone. You assume that he said something to excuse himself, but to be honest, you weren’t listening if he did.

 But your questions were answered when he returned with two bowls in each hand, one red and the other yellow, with forks sticking out and napkins stuffed in his pockets. He set them both down on the dresser before turning around and walking towards where you lay on the bed.

“Can you sit up for me, Babydoll?” He asked. You slowly but surely sat up, thankful for Bucky being patient and not rushing you. As you got up Bucky gently reached around you and pushed your pillow up so you could lean back, but not be laying down. You managed to push yourself back against the pillow while he pulled the covers over you, and then getting up and grabbing the two bowl and heading back, giving you the yellow bowl, and getting in bed on the other side.

 You glanced into the bowl and realized that inside it held a smoking bowl of pasta.

“That’s what was being served for dinner and I figured you wouldn’t want to get up,” He explained, “I want you to eat before you go to sleep, knowing you, you’ll sleep for fourteen hours without moving.” he jokingly muttered the last part, earning a small grin from you, knowing that he was right about it. You watched the episode where Ross says Rachel’s name at the altar while chowing down on the food. You finished it quickly before he grabbed it and set it on his nightstand, and ran over to turn the bedroom lights off.

 He shut the curtains before returning to the bed, turning the volume down so it was quieter and more peaceful in the room. He got underneath the covers and immediately draped his metal arm around your waist pulling you close to him, wanting you to feel nothing but love and care.

“I love you so much, you know that right?” he asked quietly after a moment. You grinned while quietly nodded.

“You only tell me a million times a day, I was starting to think you changed your mind,” you joked. He smiled, knowing his girl was finally coming back to him.

“Well, I do,” He responded, “more than anything,” he mumbled into your hair, kissing the top of your head.

“I love you, too.” You smiled, before nodding off to sleep.


End file.
